Shut Up, Teddy Grahams

Friday, July 18, 2008

This morning while I was eating a handful of Teddy Grahams for breakfast I took a look at the back of the box. There is a "recipe" for "PB&J Man!!" From what I can tell from the picture, I'm supposed to 1) cut a piece of bread into the shape of an (un-anatomically correct) man; 2) smear the head with peanut butter; 3) smear the body with jam (heh heh); and 4) stud his "clothes" with teddy grahams. Because....really? I have the time to "create" with food? Because Lil Blue will actually eat any of that stuff anyway? Lately the only thing she'll eat is goldfish crackers, and only if she can walk around in a circle with one fish in each hand. Because that's how she is.

I know I shouldn't let stuff like this bother me, but its been a rough couple of days. Yesterday Lil Blue and I had a playdate at our friend's pool. It was going to be us, and two of our friends and their little boys. Normally LB seems happy when we go swimming. But yesterday we were at the pool for less than an hour, while LB whined and cried and grabbed at me and hit and scratched at me, and generally threw a fit. She then screamed at top volume the entire ride home after I packed her up from the pool. This has been happening so much that I'm at the end of my rope. Nothing makes her happy. She hates me, hates everyone we know, hates everywhere we go and everything we do. Apparently the only place she's content is her three days a week at daycare, and then only if no one comes near her or touches her. When she was a newborn we called her colicky. Then she became "high needs" and lately "very sensitive" or "very spirited". But all those euphemisms don't make me feel any less like a failure. Shouldn't a child want to be with her mom? Shouldn't I be able to make her happy? What am I doing wrong? Did I screw up by not making PB&J man? Is that what it takes? Should I just give up, go back to work and let her be at daycare fulltime?

Posted by oballard at 9:51 AM  

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